We'd all like to be liked. The need for other people's approval, appreciation, and acceptance is a natural component of being human. While wanting to be liked is natural, believing that everyone must like you and suffering worry and tension when they don't is not.
The urge to seek the favor of others is not a new phenomenon. On a primitive level, seeing someone we don't like is an indication of incompatibility. If you will, bad vibrations. On a subliminal level, we stress about those who don't take to us as easily in our effort to prove ourselves. This may explain some strange behaviors - such as stalking or harassing others.
On a conscious level, we love to see people struggle with our actions. It makes us feel powerful when they try to tell us what we can and cannot do. We also enjoy making others uncomfortable by acting against their wishes. This serves to remind them that we are capable of doing whatever we want relative to them. The more they try to stop us, the more we know we're on to something great.
People programming is a huge industry where practitioners use various methods to influence others to act in certain ways. Many popular practices involve using images or videos of those we dislike. This article focuses on the psychological aspects of people programming, but the industry also has a lot of practical applications where decisions need to be made quickly without consulting others. For example, security guards at airports and prisons often wear masks to conceal their identities while making arrests or giving orders. This prevents other inmates or airport staff members from trying to contact them later in life.
Masks used for this purpose usually feature pictures of celebrities we don't like.
Liking is a conscious state of the brain, which means you are aware of external stimuli as well as internal processes. Wanting is a subconscious condition, which means that operations in the brain take place automatically and without your awareness.
For example, if I put sugar in your coffee but don't tell you about it, you didn't want any sugar in your coffee. But if I put sugar in your coffee and let you know about it, you wanted some sugar in your coffee.
Wanting something means you are interested in it or not interested in it. If you want a book, for example, this means you find information in books interesting and valuable. If you don't want a book, this means the opposite - the information in books isn't interesting to you.
So, wanting something means that you are consciously aware of its existence and value. Without wanting anything, you would be unaware of most things, including your own thoughts and feelings.
Liking something comes after wanting it and is a more complex process. If I like my coffee with sugar, for example, this means I find the taste of coffee plus sugar pleasant. Liking something also implies being interested in it or not interested in it. If you like someone's company, for example, this means you find them enjoyable to be around.
Why do I put forth so much effort? You work so hard to be loved, humorous, or cool in order to get people's approval and acceptance. This is an excellent sign since it indicates that you value relationships. The issue arises when you rely on other people's praise to feel good about yourself and put your self-worth on their acceptance. Even though this may seem like a quick fix, the only real satisfaction that can be derived from seeking attention through means such as violence or material gain is short-lived.
The next time you find yourself trying too hard to be accepted, remember that you are not alone. Many people struggle with this issue because it is hard to admit that you need help changing old habits. If you're able to see how striving for approval affects you then you're more likely to make positive changes in your life.